How Tim got onto Forbes' 30 Under 30 List

I'd love to explain how he did it - as it's a magnificent, earth-shattering story - but my laptop is about to run out of power, and I have to catch a bus ride home. Sorry! I'll get back to this at a later point.

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(Man, I hope they buy that explanation.)

(Oh shit, I didn't mean to post that!)

(Uhh)

(Hey!)

(How's it going.)

(Well...this is awkward.)

(Okay, look - I was running late on a video project, and I had to keep this article short so that I could get the former out the door in a timely manner. What more do you want?)

(Do you want my firstborn son? I'll give you my firstborn son if I ever have one.)

(If I never have a firstborn son, you can have my Pokemon Card collection instead. My Parasect card is kind of torn, but I'm sure you can fix it up with some markers.)

(Just don't use that card in any official tournaments - you might be banned.)

(Okay - are we good? Because I really need to return to editing this video.)

(I'm going to interpret your silence as a yes.)

(Goodbye!)

(...)

(Once again: Goodbye!)

(...)

(Somebody please send help!)