Tim’s History with Lacroix

Nowadays, it’s rare that you hear Tim mention the name Lacroix – but back in the day, the pure one adored it. Few things brought joy to Tim’s life like cracking open a cold, hard can of Safeway’s prestige seltzer water, and chugging it down in repeated, short intervals over the course of an hour – so much so, that Tim entered, and succeeded in winning a contest that saw dozens of Lacroix crates shipped to Kinda Funny’s office.

Unfortunately, about a month after winning said contest, a chemical reaction caused by Kevin’s home-made motor oil made the Lacroix crates at Kinda Funny’s offices become sentient, and transform into GigaWarLaCroix: Destroyer of Livers. While the Kinda Funny crew succeeded in incapacitating GigaWarLaCroix after a long and hard-fought battle, the experience left Tim devastated. How could his favorite carbonated beverage contain the potential for such evil? This question hung high over Tim’s head for weeks after the incident, and eventually, he decided that it was time for his relationship with Lacroix to end. With the help of Greg, Nick, and Andy, Tim gave what remained of GigaWarLaCroix a Viking funeral in the San Francisco bay, and in doing so, closed the door forever on his one, true love.